I believe he is heading down the final road. He was admitted to the hospital a month ago with pneumonia, developed a DVT, discharged to a nursing facility for rehabilitation and now has massive DVTs bilaterally. He can still swallow but can no longer care for himself in any manner, has great difficulty walking, sleeps most of the day (has even slept for three days straight without waking for anything at all). He has hallucinations, anxiety... I know you all know what I am talking about.I need to know how to be supportive for my mom who has been with him for 54 years. She is terrified that he is going to die and is trying to control each and every situation and is absolutely exhausted. She trusts no one to take care of my dad, stays all night with him, has all of her meals there, questions every medication, doesn't want him on medications because they confuse him- but he's so depressed and miserable... What can I do for her to help her and to get her trust somebody other than herself? I am paying for a CNA to come in to the nursing home 16 hours/ week because she refuses to leave him alone. I work full time and have kids at home so I am not fully available but try with visits and near-constant phone contact.I am concerned that she will get sick herself and then what? I have been trying to get her to look at care homes but she still thinks she will take him home and care for him there. She is not capable of this physically or financially. We are applying for Medicaid but I'm not sure what services will be available and I know that they are limited for home care (I think it's a max of 35 hours/week).Are there any words of wisdom from those of you going through this or have been there? My heart breaks for this wonderful man who always had a smile and a joke to share.
I didn't find the right solution from the Internet.